Crack like a glow stick whenever I stand up. I’m 21.
Forget what I was doing.
I’m always like, “teenagers today…”
Getting my hair cut at a barbershop that has almost entirely older people
Read the newspaper
I take vitamins in the morning and floss
I peek out the windows and watch the neighbors suspiciously…
Having the time of my life shopping for cool kitchen gadgets/appliances
Doing chores to self-help/life advice themed podcasts
I drive a manual, and I shame people that don’t.
➤ When my son was 4 1/2 and learning the concept of infinity he said, “So if numbers never end, there must be numbers less than zero.”
➤ I was explaining taxes to a 13 year old, and different tax brackets. I mentioned that my ex girlfriend had made twice as much as I did annually, but had found a way to pay the same taxes as me despite being in different brackets. He said: “She made twice as much as you did? So why’d you leave her?”
➤ A few days after we were in a car accident, I said something to her about what she was doing and my 4 year old narrowed her eyes, looked right at me and said, “Well at least I didn’t flip the car over.”